I feel very tugged upon, lately, and I don't know if that is a good thing. Oh, not from the Lord. When He does it, it always ends up being a good thing. I mean from other people in my life, and from expectations and desires for me and how I spend my time. I am involved in alot, I admit. I didn't really think it was "too much" until just recently. Maybe its a by-product of the homeschooling, how more of my day has to be focused on certain things than it used to be.... perhaps I just have to learn to even out my juggle with this extra ball in my hands. Perhaps I should give it more time to adjust.
We are making alot of important decisions for the health and future of our Elephant family, and I would honestly appreciate any prayers you can find time to say on our behalf. Things are just tough all the way around... hard choices to make and stick to, and necessary changes to see through to the end. Some of it eases tension, some of it increases more.
But the more I think about where life has me lately, the more I just desire to simplify. Maybe I am over-committed, I don't know. Maybe I just need to drop a couple balls here and there to make things less rocky.
I just know I don't like to feel the pull of other people's ideas of how I should spend my time, and what should fill my days. My number one "job" is my children (notice I did not say "focus" that is Jesus) so I know I have to do my utmost to be committed to them above any other activity.
Which leaves the choice of whether or not to have any purposeful "me" elements to my life. I know the whole "take time for stuff you enjoy" mantra. And I do try to. Yet it does seem that theres a definite squeeze on how much time I have for anything "for me"... I am willing to give up alot of "me" things, activities,and time for my children.
Its not like ignoring my husband. I make it a POINT to spend time with him daily.We are growing closer each day. But less of "me" and more of "us" and "them" is a fair trade off for me. When the kids are grown, I will still be here, waiting for "me" to catch up, after all.
Maybe I just need to have a bit more self sacrifice...