So I've been thinking alot lately about BE and his "differences". We are about to explore another round of getting him re-evaluated again, for IQ and also any spectrum disorders. BE is the light of my life. Every day that kid does something to amaze me. And yet I clearly recognize that even as he stands out among the crowd of 4 1/2 yr olds with his artistic/musical/laguage/writing/reading skills, it is blaringly obvious that he is of his own, rare breed.
At church this past sunday, the pastor spoke on "how to handle situations beyond our control". Gee, God, thanks for the obvious nod to my recent thought patterns! :) Basically, pastor ended up concluding that we can put all our time and effort into the struggle to control the uncontrollable, or we can get wise and give the reigns over to God, and TRUST that He is big enough to take care of us thru the situation. And I realized that alot of my exasperation with dealing with BE's "differences" is due to the fact that I am trying to wrestle this huge situation down to something managable and controllable, and I have NOT, in fact, "let go, and let God."
Well, God and I spoke about that Sunday. And giving that over, and giving up my shadow of attempted control has done wonders for my outlook on the situation. The Lord spoke to my heart and told me BE is perfect, he IS the way I made him, and he is this way for MY purposes. I really don't want to waste my energy trying to fight God on that one. So now I am taking the advice that a mentor friend gave me. Everyday, I make it a point to THANK the Lord for BE, just as he IS, instead of hassling God and giving into the voice of my fears. I am determined to "let go, and let God". And I trust that He will lead me to the right doctors/specialists/evaluations/diagnosis for our family.
I always thank the Lord for the blessing of both BE and PE, and now I am learning a valuable lesson in how to deal with control issues. I guess its true that having children teaches you more about life than you ever imagined.. and that having a "rare breed" is a blessing all in itself.